WELL, someone has finally done it.

Consumer group CHOICE has road-tested several brands of toilet-paper, and the results are in.

Two ply or three? Double length or triple? Patterned or embossed? Recycled or bamboo?

Since when did toilet-paper become so complicated?

CHOICE says if consumers are choosing toilet paper that’s rough, tears at the worst moment, or clogs up your pipes, they’re basically flushing money down the toilet. Stats show that each Aussie rolls through about 10kg of toilet-paper per year, so this is a purchase that needs to be right.

To help get the best dunny roll, here’s a handy round-up of the best and worst performers in CHOICE’s latest toilet paper review.

CHOICE experts selected 30 of the most popular brands and tested them to see which is the tip-top toilet-paper. They rated each product on four key areas

Softness: Is it gentle?

Separation: Does it tear off easily?

Strength: Will it rip when you wipe?

Sewer-friendliness: Will it clog your bog?

Results

Sorbent 4 ply Thick and Soft

CHOICE Expert Rating: 82% (Recommended)

Softness score: 90%

Price: 59c per 100 sheets

Quilton Toilet Tissue 3 Ply Softness White

CHOICE Expert Rating: 76% (Recommended)

Softness score: 80%

Price: 60c per 100 sheets

Kleenex Luxury Quilts Air Cushion Softness

CHOICE Expert Rating: 74% (Recommended)

Softness score: 70%

Price: 57c per 100 sheets

Quilton Toilet Tissue with Coconut Oil

CHOICE Expert Rating: 74% (Recommended)

Softness score: 80%

Price: 54c per 100 sheets

Best budget buys

When every dollar matters, it’s hard to justify spending extra on something that literally ends up going down the gurgler.

The top-scoring toilet-papers tested are also at the top end of the price range, costing between 54 and 60 cents per 100 sheets, which can really add up when a consumer is literally buying kilos of the stuff every year.

For those on a budget, keep a look-out for CHOICE Best Buy products – they offer great value for money but don’t quite meet the criteria to be recommended.

They all scored well across most tests, but fell short in others. Many didn’t fare well in our puncture test – which measures how likely your finger is to burst through the paper mid-wipe.

That’s a real bummer.

At a budget-friendly 18 to 30 cents per 100 sheets, some budget toilet-papers are good buy on face value, but not so much on the, er, other end.

Saving money on essentials feels good, but you just can’t put a price on knowing toilet paper isn’t going to give way mid-wipe.

If priority is softness, Vevelle White Toilet Tissue – 2-ply and Coles So Soft & Strong 3-ply Embossed White scored the highest for softness at 80 per cent, but the Vevelle scored a nerve-wracking 53 per cent on the puncture test.

Delsey Toilet Tissue 1000 sheets may be the cheapest, along with the Vevelle White Toilet Tissue 1-ply, but they’re also the scratchiest and they’re pretty prone to punctures, scoring just 55 per cent.

And two supermarket brands – Black & Gold Toilet Tissue 2-ply and Coles Simply 2-ply Embossed White Toilet Tissue – are also great buys that received solid scores.

They cost 29c and 19 cents per 100 sheets respectively.

Bear in mind, toilet paper prices can change frequently and these prices were correct at the time of testing.

Softest eco-friendly toilet paper

CHOICE expert Chris Barnes said recycled, eco-friendly toilet paper doesn’t traditionally have a great reputation for softness or quality.

“Toilet paper that’s kind to the planet may not always be kind to your behind,” Mr Barnes said.

There are a couple of products that will scratch your itch for enviro-friendliness, but not your bum: Quilton Toilet Tissue with Ecoply 3-ply and No Issues 100 Bamboo Toilet Paper both scored 80 per cent for softness.

However, the No Issues toilet-paper and another ‘eco’ product – iCare Luxury Eco Toilet Tissue – didn’t break down quickly enough in CHOICE’s disintegration test, so they’ll give users a clear conscience, but maybe blocked pipes.

Poor disintegration, however, isn’t exclusive to eco toilet-papers – even a regular Kleenex toilet-paper failed to break down and scored zero per cent on this test.

Naturale 100 Recycled 3-ply Softness hits the sweet spot between softness and sewer-friendliness: it scores 70 per cent for softness and 49 per cent for disintegration.

Plus it’s more affordable at 30 cents per 100 sheets.

Three worst toilet rolls tested and their scores

A pain in the bum: The worst toilet paper

iCare Luxury Eco Toilet Tissue 3 Ply

CHOICE Expert Rating: 48%

Disintegration score: 0%

Price: 56 cents per 100 sheets

No Issues 100% Bamboo Toilet Paper

CHOICE Expert Rating: 49%

Disintegration score: 0%

Price: 42 cents per 100 sheets

Kleenex Toilet Tissue Complete Clean with Clean Ripple

CHOICE Expert Rating: 51%

Disintegration score: 0%

Price: 31 cents per 100 sheets

These brands are best avoided if sensitive sewage systems exist at home.

They’re all quite soft – scoring between 70 and 80 per cent – but all of them scored zero per cent on CHOICE’s disintegration test.

This means they take far longer to break up after flushing than most other toilet papers.

How to save money on toilet paper

With the current cost of living, every little saving counts.

And since toilet-paper is a staple used every single day, it makes sense to get the best deal possible rather than flush money down the toilet.

Toilet-paper prices change frequently. And between sale prices, double-length rolls and bulk packs, it can be tricky to figure the best value for money.

The best way to tell, CHOICE says, is to check the unit price and compare how much the rolls are per 100 sheets.

The age-old question: Over or under?

CHOICE has a conclusive answer to the controversial question of whether to hang toilet-paper over or under the roll.

At the risk of permanently losing members, CHOICE answers the question it once and for all: over is the correct method.

Perforated toilet-paper was invented in 1871 by US inventor Seth Wheeler. He subsequently re-patented his invention in roll form in 1891.

His patent application includes detailed diagrams that clearly show the paper going up and over the roll, not under – placing toilet-paper overhand is precisely as its creator intended.